After his disapppearance from the scene completely earlier this year, we were starting to believe that we were never going to see Nathaniel Slater again. After he and girlfriend ( and rumored fiancee ), actress, Molly Alexander were in a devastating car crash early this year, he quietly stepped out of the spotlight to nurse his wounds. Molly was killed instantly and he suffered severe injuries to his legs. It was against all odds that he even began walking again - and now, after almost 12 months away from the spotlight, he's walking through the door of the warehouse where we'll be hosting our photo shoot/interview. The past month has been a big one for this major power in rock - he's announced a new record, which will be hitting stores soon, he's about to sit down to his first interview in over a year, and for the first time since the horrible crash, he's getting ready to talk about life without Molly, and on relationships of the present and future. He's composed when he takes his seat across from me, crossing his legs and lighting a Marlboro in one fluid motion. He takes a deep drag and nods at me in recognition, coughing slightly against the Boston cold, before unwinding the scarf he has on around his neck. Pulling a knee up to his chest, he gives me a charming smile before saying hello. There is the brief, awkward introduction stage, before I suggest starting the interview. He nods his agreement and folds his legs indian style on the chair. "You know, it took me almost an hour and a half to get here?" I start to apologize and he shakes his head, holding up a hand to let me know that it isn't my fault. "Nah, Route 3 was backed up to hell outta the city. Man, I haven't seen a rush hour like that in years!" I laugh and ask how he feels about having spent a good part of his childhood in Boston and he laughs. "It was fantastic, y'know? The neighborhood I grew up in - it was real small, sorta, you know? Wicked close. Your neighbors were your friends and everything. Every garage had a band - that sort of place y'know?" As we delve deeper into the discussion of the bands in his town, we start talking about how he got into music. "Well, y'know I wanted to be a pharmacist. But my friend, Frankie, he was starting a band and they didn't have anyone for vocals or guitar. So I said I'd fill in, since I knew a bit about both. I guess I just got into the whole 'rockstar' thing. I mean, that's why I got into music as a profession. If the digits on the contract I was offered hadn't been so high I never woulda done it. It's not all about the music. Anyone who says different is a liar."

I must look surprised by this statement, because he's quick to add - "It is now. But when everyone starts out - it's all about the dough. As you get into the business, and grow as an artist, the money means less and the art means more. Now, I just want to put out an album that speaks to me, and to others. I just want to know that I'm making some sort of dent in musical history. I don't needa be in the Hall of Fame, I just wanna know I'm making a difference." So, is that part of what took so long to get this album out? I ask. Or is there more to it. He shrugs slowly, non-comittaly, as if he's not sure what to say, or if he wants to say anything at all. "I'm not sorry for taking time for myself. I needed to breathe." There is a long pause following this statement. "After Molly, I couldn't get my head clear enough to work. My every waking moment was just consumed with missing her - with thinking about her - wishing it had been me - wanting to die. She was my world, you know? I was so lucky to have had her and in one second, one fucking second, she was just ripped out of my hands, by some fucker who couldn't stop to think before he grabbed his keys." I ask what he would say if he could talk to the man who took her life and his face darkens. "I wouldn't say anything to him. I'd kill him with my bare fucking hands." He and Molly had been together for over three years when the accident occurred, and in an interview with our magazine the year of their engagement he said "She's the most amazing woman I've ever met. She just makes me a stronger person. She's beautiful, and incredible and I'd be lost without her..."

He lights another cigarette, his fourth so far, and takes a long, deep drag off of it. I ask how many packs he smokes a day, out of curiosity and he blushes a bit. "About three. I'm horrible about it - I really need to quit but I'm afraid of the DT's, man. They'd kill me, I'm sure. Much faster than any of the other shit I do to myself." What other shit? He smirks and inhales deeply off the glowing cigarette between his fingers. "I'm having a love affair with my own demise. I'm cheating on my mortality with it." He shrugs slightly and coughs a bit, choking smoke out of his lungs. "I'm sure I've got more time than I'll actually use up. I'm not planning on taking advantage of 80 years or something like that. Once I get too old and arthritic to play guitar then I just want out." He shrugs and cracks his fingers loudly. "Music is my life, you know? If I can't do that then I'd just be better off dead." He falls silent for a long moment and I speak up again, bringing up the possiblities of new relationships. "When I'm ready I'll start dating again. I mean, Molly would want me to move on I think. It's just a matter of what I want, and when I want to do it. Right now I'm just going head first into my work, and my DJ-ing. I'm really just looking to get back to where I was a year ago - one step at a time. It's not like I'll be back to where I was without any work, or overnight. But I'd like to get there eventually - God willing." He stubs out his cigarette on the arm of the chair as our photographer heads over to get him ready for the shoot and he rolls his eyes playfully at me. "These guys, they always think I can't dress myself, but honestly ..." He holds up his wrist to show me a Chanel tattoo. "...I know just as much about clothes as they do ... if not more. I love fashion. That sounds so gay - and maybe there's a little fag in me trying to get out - but I really do like clothes. All my girl friends fight over shopping with me." He laughs and shakes his head as he's shrugged into a blazer. "Man, they go all out, don't they?" And with a tip of his hat, he's pulled away from me to pose in front of the camera. I didn't think our time together would end so abruptly, but for his first interview back - I'd say it went pretty damn well.